As a teenager I led the mission group for young boys in my church and was strongly active in the music program. So, after graduation from high school, it was again no shock that I entered college as a music major and took a position in a church as the minister of music; it was there I met my future wife. We married after a courtship that honored God. I honestly thought the rest of my life would be spent in service to my Lord. Little did I know what a different curve the road ahead had for me.

In 1989, my wife and I reached a point in our relationship where there was only one thing left to do — divorce. She discovered an "alternate" lifestyle. Oh, she wanted to stay married and vacilate between that life and our family life. At one point she even asked if maybe I would consider...well, it was too bizarre to mention.

Several years earlier she had voiced her dissatisfaction with our marriage after an affair she was having and suggested that maybe "X" rated videos and "toys" would spice things up. Staying married meant more to me than I can tell you so I tried whatever she suggested. Before I knew it our "games" became more important than anything and church became history.

So, when faced with her new lifestyle I opted for divorce. She left our home, our marriage, and our two children for another woman. My devastation drove me to turn back to God and to the church. At that time I needed spiritual guidance, a friend to walk with me through my pain.

After attending church for several weeks, I started going to Sunday School and that is where I met Sharon. Although our relationship started out as a simple friendship, we grew close quickly and were married six months later.

Real devastation hit when I discovered that my children had found the videos and the toys and had experimented on each other. Their innocence was lost forever. How this, their mother's leaving, her new lifestyle, as well as my marrying so soon after our divorce, would affect them, would show up very quickly and would affect our new family. 

All too often, even people like me, who grew up in the church, need a mentor when going through a crisis. The cycle of wounded people marrying wounded people, and that marriage ending in divorce has to stop. It is my hope that God will use this ministry to assist in that call, it has so far and I hope and pray it will continue to do so.

8/4/05

***My ex-wife has changed. She now has a boyfriend and is very close to getting married. Nothing in my testimony is written to hurt her, her reputation, or damage her spirit. It is totally about what I went through and how it affected our children, my stepdaughter, and our new family. This testimony is to encourage others - not hurt anyone.