Divorce is not a Dirty Word
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother& Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:15,17
Following the divorce of my parents, I pretty much took care of myself. I was one of the first latchkey lids because both mother and my sister rode the bus to downtown Birmingham everyday. Mother worked and Carolyn went to school. It wasn't horrible, but I did suffer from the lack of guidance. I learned to meet my own needs in whatever manner worked. At first it applied to what I wanted to drink, then quickly spilled over into what I wanted to eat.
Children need guidance, nurture, and structure. It is so easy during the first year or two following a divorce to let the children pretty much do for themselves. We may think we are teaching them responsibilities by making them do more and more household chores, but most of the time we are "sloughing off' on them. Yes, it is important for them to learn these tasks, but not for them to assume total responsibility for all of them.
Teenagers will often do their best to take advantage of the situation using the old "poor me" attitude. I know this one well, because both of my children have pulled it on me. It took me a long time to catch on to their manipulations.
Discipline or structure helps children develop healthy self-esteem. Please don't get the idea that I mean "punishment." I am talking helping about helping them develop a routine without getting them in a rut. Through the time invested in your children, you will soon find they are an encouragement to you, or as Solomon said, a delight to your soul.
Try taking time together to plan your week. I will if you will. It would be great not having multiple surprises cropping up all the time. Let me know if it works for you!